We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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