There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
