can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He? As in you personified your dick?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize