so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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