So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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