Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
