It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
