3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i was born a porn star she said
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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