If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Randomize
