Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
