It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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