Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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