Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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