he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
