My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
