drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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