my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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