i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
