I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
