girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
