The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize