The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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