Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize