I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
