Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
