If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
