i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
