My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
we're making bets on your personal life
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
