i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
