Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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