U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
