I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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