Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
