chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
