Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
