just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
