Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
