I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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