The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
