whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
They have beer where we have blood.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
