He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
