This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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