weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
