I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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