i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
