thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
