I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
