plz talk dirty to me
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
