My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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