I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
