no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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