So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
