Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
